hehe ,only you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~attach jokes here.

一封情书

喜欢上王小姐后，决定要给她写一封情书，这封情书一定要不落俗套。苦思之下，触发了灵感，现在卖饼干说是卖克力架，做网站的想办法上纳斯达克，那我也走国际路线，写封英文情书，扯着虎皮拉大旗，显示一下自己的才华吧。

Dear wang litte girl:
亲爱的王小姐：　
（翻译这句，我可费了不少心思，中文直接用”亲爱的”未免显得肉中有肉，麻中有麻，还是老外开放，一般朋友也可以用dear，这样自己的贼心可以得到满足而又不唐突。姐想译成sister吧，怕她理解成小妹，一开始就叫人小妹，我好意思开口，人家还不一定好意思应呢，把小姐译成littlegirl吧，又怕她理解成小丫头，这样”wang littlegirl”变成了王小丫，上天作证，我可没有喜欢这个漂亮的主持人，其实主要知道喜欢了也白搭，就象明知是垃圾股又何必再投资进去呢？最后采用考试时常用的方法-----丢硬币决定还是译成litte girl。）

From see you one　eye, I shit love you.
（本想写”自从见你第一眼，我便对你魂牵梦绕”，可魂牵梦绕我实在译不出，只好写成”我便爱上你”，”便”译成shit是邻居小孩告诉我的，他说VCD里老有人说：”shit”，这个shit就是”便”。）

your eyes close,I die;your eyes open ,I come back olive.Your　eyes close and open again and again ,I die again and　again. 你的眼睛闭上，我就死了，你的眼睛睁开，我又活过来了，你眼睛眨呀眨，我就死去活来。

Maybe you do not know me ,no　matter.one see clock emotion is pop.
“也许你还不认识我，没有关系，一见钟情很流行。”
（译一见钟情颇费了一番功夫，一、见、情都会，但钟字怎么译呢，一抬头，见闹钟上写着呢：clock，pop这个词是从电视中学来的，最流行的音乐唱片就是top of thepops，呵呵，处处留心皆学问呀。)　

I think I should introduce myself to you.
我想应该介绍一下自己。
(事实证明我的英文启蒙老师很有远见，她说要是哪天你到了国外，要找外国MM套磁，就要用这句。不过，不知她有没有想到我现在是用这句话来唬中国MM。)

I call Li old big. toyear 25.
我叫李老大，今年25. （今天是today，那么今年是toyear，没有错的吧。）　

My home four mouth people:papa,mama,I and　DD.
我家有四口人：爸爸、妈妈、我和弟弟。
（还好，幸亏在网上混了这么多年，知道GG，JJ，MM，DD怎么写的。）

I beat letter very fast,because I am a computer high hand.Ieven　act as black guest.
我打字很快，因为我是电脑高手，我甚至还当过黑客呢。

I do early fuck every day,so that I can have strong body to protect you.
我每天都做早操，这样我会有强壮的身体来保护你。
(”操”译成fuck也是邻居小孩告诉我的，他还说VCD里就是这么译的，人家外国电影不会用错的。)　

Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my　hair to be a monk , and find a place where many monks　live in to over mylife.
请嫁给我吧，否则我将削发为僧，找个庙来了此一生。　
（实在想不起嫁字怎么译了，好在我脑袋灵光，嫁过来不就是和我吃住在一起吗？祸不单行，庙字我又忘记怎么译了，不过这也难不倒我，好多和尚住的地方不就是庙吗？为自己的聪明鼓掌！至于了此一生，打游戏时最后不是gameover吧，over当然就是结束啦。）


your old big
你的老大
（为了表示亲切，署名时我省去了姓，不过你的老大听起来有点象黑社会的感觉，算了，不管它啦。）

好了，我的第一封英文情书就这样隆重诞生了，看见了吧，知识就是力量，这肯定是一发攻克MM心城的重型炮弹，为我的好运祝福吧！
哦，为写这封情书熬了一个通宵，天都亮了，该do　early fuck（做早操）去了！

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."

After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

引用:

以下是引用cyysmm在2003-7-23 20:11:24的发言：
what is MD and PhD  ?

ＭＤ= Doctor of Medicine  
PhD= Doctor of Philosophy

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst
way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local
vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe
you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps,
set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he
spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water,
shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator
swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the
blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

[此贴子已经被作者于2003-9-6 9:36:58编辑过]

a funny story

hehe！~~~[em27]